


A Demon's Thoughts on Love and the Human Condition

by MaggicSorceress



Category: Howl's Moving Castle - All Media Types
Genre: Calcifer is ace but he doesn't know what that word means, Calcifer is confused by love, F/M, Gen, They all just love each other okay?, and kind of vent? at the same time?, but he will not disclose if he likes it or not, sort of human Calcifer?, this is really just a drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22104169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggicSorceress/pseuds/MaggicSorceress
Summary: In which Calcifer ponders the oddities of humans and their affections.ORThe author self-projects for 726 words.
Relationships: Calcifer & Sophie Hatter & Howl Pendragon, Sophie Hatter/Howl Pendragon
Comments: 8
Kudos: 83





	A Demon's Thoughts on Love and the Human Condition

Humans were strange creatures. They were, in Calcifer’s opinion, the very definition of contradictory. They seemed to live only to find the person they could love for the rest of their lives, but spent years fighting wars filled with hate. He would never understand why humans couldn’t just pick a side and stick with it. But then, that was what fascinated him about them.

Howl and Sophie were certainly of their own definition. He didn’t doubt for a moment that they loved each other; he was in possession of Howl’s heart for a good portion of them getting together, but sometimes they were just so _bizarre._ He’d never seen anyone argue so long about something so small and insignificant. A small, traitorous voice in the back of his head supplied that he and Howl, in fact, had done the very same thing, but he pushed it away in favour of another odd thought.

Love was weird.

Calcifer, though he would deny it if asked, knew that he loved this little family of misfits that Howl had dragged him into. Which was a strange thought indeed. He was a demon; he didn’t do love. But honestly, at this point, he was ride-or-die for these assholes so he wasn’t sure exactly where that fell on a scale of love, but after everything they had done for him he figured dying for them was the least he could do.

Sometimes, Howl and Sophie would seem so enveloped in their little bubble of love that Calcifer could practically feel its weight in the air and he couldn’t shake that sort of feeling that _he shouldn’t be here_. He knew that Howl and Sophie loved him. Howl would never say it, just like he wouldn’t, but Sophie had once, very openly he might add, smiled so brilliantly bright at him and told him that she ‘positively adored him’ in such a Sophie way that he was left red in the face and sputtering, and very upset that she had caused that sort of reaction from him.

Point of the matter was, he was constantly surrounded by a metaphorical curtain of love and he wasn’t quite sure if he liked it or if he hated it. Calcifer felt uncomfortable enough when Howl and Sophie were being loving to each other, for once, but it was even worse when the tiniest bit of that same affection was directed at him because _he had no idea how he was supposed to respond._ He hated how his body responded to it, that was for damn sure. He hated how his cheeks would heat up and his muscles would tense in an almost fight-or-flight way, but he didn’t know how to change that reaction or stop it from happening all together. Calcifer decided to just chalk it up to him not being used to compliments, which was very much true, but you’d think he’d be used to them _by now._

Sometimes, Howl and Sophie looked so content in their love that it felt almost impossible to not yearn for that same sort of thing. That pure, selfless kind of love that felt like a warm blanket and a steaming mug of hot chocolate. The strange thing was, no matter how many times he tried to imagine himself in Howl’s position with some mystery person, it never felt quite _right_. It might have just been the fact that he was a demon by nature, but he couldn’t quite fathom loving someone that much, especially in a romantic sort of sense. And it puzzled him, because he definitely knew what love was, and it wasn’t something he disliked the idea of, but it seemed sort of unattainable the longer he thought about it. There also wasn’t that drive that he had seen in Howl back in the early days of their contract. That drive to chase and find that love. Calcifer, in his opinion, was in a metaphorical shadow-zone, where the thought didn’t really repulse him, but there was no need to chase.

Nevertheless, he could say he was content. He still felt like an outsider at times, and he doubted that he would ever really get used to Howl and Sophie’s playful ‘we love you Calcifer’’s, but, he’d take it one day at a time and figure it out as he went. Just like he always did.


End file.
